Morning Madness

Shaving Brush

We know Patrick would use this badger hair brush to smooth his killer, cover-boy complexion. $59, brooklyngrooming.com

(All photos courtesy brands unless otherwise stated)

Patricks FW1 Face Wash

This rich, foaming wash provides deep cleansing sans drying skin. Flavonoids and polyphenols soothe irritations and reduce redness. $50, patricks.co

MARVIS Whitening Mint Toothpaste
You won’t shy away from flashing your pearly whites after a few brush strokes of this minty fresh luxury toothpaste. Plus, it makes an impressive bathroom accessory—that can also be used in your bathroom-mirror selfies. $13.50, sephora.com

Pilgrim’s Machine Oil

Let’s face it boys, your groin area has two vices; friction and heat. While you can’t kick them with your latest kitchen knife, you can slather on this oil for plant-derived, post-workout dermal lubrication. $36, brooklyngrooming.com

Beard Brush

Stubble or full beard, it’s essential to be equipped with a good beard brush. Handmade with beech wood, this boar-bristle brush moisturizes and tames for a masculine look that’s fit for Wall Street. $36, brooklyngrooming.com

Pilgrim’s Recovery Oil

Athletic men need to soothe their muscles to keep up their stamina; this organic sunflower seed oil and 6-herb formula does the trick without leaving you “smelling like a cough drop.” $18, brooklyngrooming.com

Hand-made Mustache-Beard Comb

A limited-edition, custom-engraved comb that’s almost as good as tailor-made business cards. Bonus? Comes hand-stamped in a muslin bag. $18, brooklyngrooming.com

If there’s one lesson to take away from Christian Bale’s character (a.k.a. Patrick Bateman) in American Psycho, it’s his a.m. routine (not his after-work activities). Taking inspiration from Bateman’s meticulous morning preparations, here’s a roundup of our mostly Brooklyn-based, post-shower recommendations.